Relationships: A Mirror Of A Person's Self Esteem

 Relationships can be a mirror of a person's self esteem. Seems a little weird right? But think about it, when a person is in a relationship they put up with certain things and are intolerable of other things. For example, a girl may put up with a guy belching out loud and playing video games all day long. But as soon as he calls her a bitch or says he has feelings for another female, she's gone like a teenage boy who just found out his girlfriend's pregnant. Besides, who wants to be with a male who is disrespectful and not fully committed? OR a guy might put up with a girl who has musty feet and crooked teeth. But as soon as she gets overemotional or "too" jealous, he's gone just as fast (if not faster) than the female I previously mentioned. But can you really blame him? I mean, who really wants to be with an emotional and insecure female? There are also some people who put up with their significant other's hitting them, cheating on them, emotionally abusing them, and even sexually abusing them. Why? Is it because they feel like that's all they are good for? That that's all their worth? Or is it because they have low self esteem and believe that no one else would want them? I guess it depends on the individual.

Now, I understand that relationships are about give and take. Both persons are responsible for the care of the other person's feelings and have to do their part in making a relationship work. This includes sacrificing, biting of the tongue, and letting certain things slide. However; if a person tends to let too many things slide and sacrifices WAY more than the other person, it sometimes makes a person wonder why they are letting so many things slide, why they are sacrificing so much more than the other person, and why they are putting up with abuse. Is it to fill a void or an insecurity, or is it because they feel like they can't do any better?
Now don't get me wrong, relationships can be a beautiful thing. But unhealthy ones can be life threatening. Not just physically, but also emotionally. It's best to end an unhealthy relationship ASAP! Failure or Success of doing so is just another meter of how high or low your self esteem is. If something isn't working out, why hold on to it? If you're iPod dropped in a puddle and died would you keep it? NO! You would throw that one away and buy a brand new model. It's the same thing with relationships. When one doesn't work, get rid of it. Eventually you'll find another one of better quality. However; if you still want to make an unhealthy relationship work, talk to your partner about boundaries, communication methods, and ways to handle conflict that you both can agree on. When a watch is broken you don't immediately throw it away. You take it to a shop to see if it can be fixed. So before you are quick to throw in the towel in a relationship, see if it's mendable and can still make both you and your partner happy.

So before you think you are better than the 'losers' out there, who can't seem to live without a boyfriend or girlfriend, think about your past relationships. Were you always self righteous and confident? Or did your Oprah/Hill Harper alter ego run to the nearest exist? Take a minute to think about that.

Once you've answered these questions, take the necessary steps to do something about it. Better yourself, change, or accept who you are. (Btw, accepting who are you doesn't have to be a bad thing.) You can write in your journal to organize your thoughts and let out emotions. You can talk to a therapist, psychologist, or your local pastor. You can read self help books or just give yourself some 'YOU' time to figure out exactly what you need and who you are. Sometimes we look to other people for answers when the answers are really within us. We just need to build up confidence to trust our instincts.

Now don't get me wrong. I am not trying to bash or insult anyone. I don't think I know everything and I'm not trying to tell anyone how to live their life. I struggle with many of the things I wrote about, so this is my way of helping others and showing people that they are not alone.

Well, I'm going to go to bed now. Hope I helped somebody or at least made someone think. Feel free to drop a comment or an email me. Night Night bloggers!

Until my next post, Be Blessed and make sure your LEGACY is like no other.

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